july, 2024

pressed "reset" button

Okey, umm yeah. I actually pressed the “reset” button to re-designed what’s hapenning in my life. But this time, it’s better in my mind, at least I know what’s happening with me, what’s truthly important things to me, and people was there with me when I go through the some darkest time. The last time I pressed the button, I think I completely lost my mind and didn’t know wth is going on and I just did it because it made me feel better in short time.

A photo captured many books and papers.
Shot on iPhone 2024-06-13T19:55:32+07:00
a cozy place.

So wtf is “reset” button?

Actually, to me, it’s just a decision. I mean a decision to go through the checklist about outside and inside things such as people, things, goods, thinking, habits, etc. Most the process after “press button” mainly remove the major of things. Sometime, it’s a little bit toxic and negative actions, but absolutely it just effects to myself 99% and 1% others to myself in parallel world, others people fine because in reality we often don’t give a f to something like that.

Why pressed?

This month, July, I was 27. I received a gift from life, maybe from God, I don’t know. But there were something happened to me for a long time I didn’t realized it, and the present I received as my birthday gift is “Here is the thing you didn’t know”. And It changed me, changed my mind, changed my thinking, changed my life. When you know something bad, sometime it’s not really bad, it’s just a message in fact. In my case, the message is like “You have to do it before you cannot do it anymore.”

Okey, just do it.

What’s happened after all?

I lost the most of all the contacts of the people I have ever know. I lost it. Some people I still save it somewhere but I don’t know when I need to contact them, maybe never, but they are nice people and we already has some good time together when we young so yeah.

I lost almost photos, videos, texts, mails, even musics. I don’t regret it, or just accept it I don’t know. I just feel like it’s not mine anymore, I wasn’t there or captured it. It’s just strange to me. I also realized that the most digital things I captured is for my works only in last 2 years. I opened my photos app, I just zoomed it out and realized it. So I have exported and designed a flow which I can move all working things in the future to my files instead of my photos as before.

I lost many goods, things, whatever I can touch it, hands it on, etc that I think I didn’t need anymore. I mean something my currently room, something I used everyday or just store it everyday. Basically, this is like try to live in minimalism as many people are saying but I don’t feel I like it. I am not minimalism guy, I am just not maximalism guy.

I lost all of its memories in my brain.

I wish I can lost it too in my mind.

But maybe I just learn a way to ignore or forget or leave it alone somewhere.

I think I have learned a way to do it, that’s fucking awesome to me.

I don’t remember exactly how they smile, how they talk to me, how they look at me. I realized it and sad in first but I smile then.

Everything just fades out.

But I promised something to someone, so still be here to keep it available.

And weird that I am happy with it.

You can lose a lot of things except your promises even the promises that you have made with the people you lost.

I don’t know they remember the promises we made together or not but the great thing that there are at least one person still keep it light. In this case, I am.

Luckily, I didn’t lose myself. haha. Perhaps I already lost myself, but it was myself in the past. Who’s know it? I don’t care.

Sometime, you have to lose everything to know what’s really important to you.

Perhaps I didn’t lose it, I just drop it down and move on.

Yup, move on.

What’s next?

Build back better,

live in the moment,

grateful,

brave more,

and just do it.